The nature of who you really are is always open, even when thought imagines that there is a closing. Who you really are includes everything, even if you think it doesn't fit your spiritual ideas of how it should be. Even when the body feels anxious, frightened or sad, even when everything seems to be falling apart, your true nature is still absolute gratefulness for the very fact of existence.
Feel it all, and let it all crack you open and open and open and open...................

Although the title of this article may sound like I am about to recommend a New Age self-affirming practice, it is anything but that. Those practices, although they may be helpful to a point, are based in the idea that you are not already absolutely whole, free and absolute power itself, and therefore need to practice remembering or trying to be more powerful. In fact when we are searching, we are assuming that there is something wrong or missing in myself, or my life experience. We start from this assumption and every practice or tradition confirms this by recommending ways of healing or improving ‘myself’ or my experience. Each time this reinforces the belief that I am not enough as I am already.

Real freedom is in not needing to be happy. I trade all experiences of happiness for this. In fact I trade my whole life for this.

'Love is love, and has nothing to do with union or genders, or being in or out of a relationship. Love is wild radical freedom that does not depend on what you think, or any labels that seem to separate or unite. Love does not need to look or feel in any particular way. Love can not fit into any concepts or beliefs. Love has no limits. Love is who you are.'

I love you forever! You are 'the one'. You are everything I have ever longed for. You complete and fulfil me absolutely.
Thank you to you for being me.
♥ Happy Valentines Day! ♥

When I recently sent out an appeal for donations in my last newsletter, not only did it provoke some people to donate enough to get me to Australia, but it also provoked other people to express various beliefs and ask questions about money, and money and spirituality. I will attempt to explore the reality of these beliefs, and answer some of these questions here. Below that, you will find a short article about money in general.

Many people ask me why I ask for donations or charge money for the meetings and retreats I run. “Shouldn’t the pointing to your true nature be free of charge?” People tend to think that if you ask for money, then you are obviously taking advantage of people in order to get rich and if you don’t charge anything for what you do, then you are obviously more genuine, pure, and saintly. 

We tend to get our ideas about spiritual teachers mainly from Eastern cultures and from stories of Christian saints. These traditions are more devotional than in most modern Western cultures and societies. In more devotionally-orientated cultures it is part of the culture to support, host, donate, and generally make sure that a spiritual teacher has everything they need to continue to do what they do. Spiritual teachers are very much respected and are not seen as separate from the message they are teaching. If a person respects the message, they respect the teacher. Traditionally spiritual teachers do not need to charge anything for what they do, as they are fully provided for by those who are touched by their message. 

In our more materialistic and cynical culture, we seem to have very little respect (and often a lot of disrespect) for spiritual teachers and also their message. Even if we do respect their message, we are so self-involved that we do not think to offer any support. We are so wrapped up in what I can get for myself from a teacher. We have become too proud to be able to fully surrender to a teacher, and therefore their message. Indian gurus or those playing similar traditional roles, have received a lot of respect and devotion from people because they seem special and exotic. But a Western teacher who does not look or behave like a traditional spiritual guru or a saint, a Western teacher who looks and behaves like a Western teacher, does not usually receive the same respect, devotion and expressions of gratitude. Outside of the traditional spiritual and devotional culture, we do not know how to relate to a teacher who looks and behaves in what we consider to be ordinary, and just like one of us. What is the role of the modern Western spiritual teacher? (but this is perhaps a subject for another article). In the West there continue to be spiritual teachers, but because it is not usually in our culture to offer to support them, teachers have to ask for money in order to continue doing what they do. 

Some people asked me why I continue to ‘teach’ if people are not supporting me financially. Firstly, many people have offered so much support over the years and also recently. But sometimes people simply need to be asked. Sometimes perhaps we forget to give, as well as receive. Sometimes we are so wrapped up in ourselves and our problems that we do not think to offer.

I continue to travel around the world ‘teaching’ or pointing to our true nature, because that is what I do. I could play any role. I could be a gardener, I could be a housewife, I could be a secretary, I could be a monk with a begging bowl, I could be an engineer, I could be a beggar on the street, but the role I play for now, is a so-called ‘non-dual teacher’. I have no choice about it, Life moves me in this way. 

I know without a doubt, that what I do as a ‘teacher’ is worthy of all the abundance, support, and appreciation in the world. This may sound arrogant, but this does not come from thought or belief. It comes from a knowing that what is happening has every right to be happening just as it is. So it is no surprise to me, that people have donated enough to make my next move possible. If it hadn’t happened that way, then I would have known that I am not going to Australia. Simple as that. 

I will continue to play this role of a ‘non-dual teacher’, until it is obvious that Life is directing me elsewhere. I have so much gratitude for this role, as it continuously offers me opportunities to see what is real and not real. For me, pointing to the aliveness and openness that you really are, is an expression of the love that I feel for myself. Every time I sit in a meeting or have an intimate dialogue with someone, it is an opportunity to see myself in you. Over the past 8 years or so, I have learnt so much, and unlearnt so much more, from all the people who have come to see me. My heart cracks open with love each time I look into someone’s eyes. Thank you for this opportunity.

Money, and the Identity it gives us

Money is such a provocative subject for most people. So many of us have ideas about money and what it means about who we think we are. It so often provokes us to defend who we think we are. We live in fear of not having enough or losing what we have. Ideas about money seem to define who we think we are, and what we think about others.

We seem to imagine that life should be a struggle. That you must work hard for everything that you own. Like when we believe any thought, it brings a certain experience of that belief into our lives. If you believe that you don’t have enough money then inevitably that is how you live – in need and lack, believing that more money can fulfil that need. Of course there is no amount of money that can fulfil that bottomless pit of need and fear. If you believe that life should be a struggle, and you have to work hard for every penny, then life will inevitably seem like a struggle and you will resent anyone who ‘has it easy’. These beliefs about money and what it means about ‘me’ have become a prison of fear.

These beliefs about money give us an identity. ‘Poor me, I don’t have enough money.’ ‘Poor me, I cant afford to do that.’ ‘Poor me, my life is so hard’, or even ‘Great me, I have made all this money and its all mine’, ‘Clever me, I am going to save this money for the future’. 

But if you question these beliefs right now, do you know that you have a lot or little money – right now? Sitting here reading this, without believing in your usual story about your life and what you need, do you know that you need money? Do you know, right now, that you have worked hard to make the money to survive in the world until now? This is so radical that it might undermine the whole of the way that you see your life, what you do and why you do it. 

I am not saying that you should passively sit at home and wait for money to fall into your lap. It’s not about taking on a new attitude about how to deal with money. I’m not suggesting you exchange your negative beliefs about money into positive ones. Those too, would be false. In fact it’s not about what you do or don’t do either. We are simply questioning all beliefs that refer back to ‘me’ and give ‘me’ some sense of reality. Without any belief about money, you can see it for what it really is with your eyes wide open. 

So what is money really? Pieces of paper and chunks of metal, numbers on a screen, plastic cards… Money is an exchange of energy. If you sell your cow, someone will give you some pieces of paper. If you work a week at your job, you see the numbers on the screen grow larger. You want a new car, you need to give the car salesman a plastic card. You want to buy some food in the supermarket, you need to give some pieces of paper and chunks of metal. So the more money you have, the more freedom you seem to have, to do the things you want to do and buy the things you need to survive. This, it seems, is how the game is played. It is a very simple game, but we complicate it with all kinds of beliefs and fear. 

What do you really need to survive? Well, it depends who you identify with. If you believe yourself to be the separate identity who needs to struggle in order to survive, then you will believe that we all must fearfully struggle to get money. But if you do not believe in anything, if you recognise who you really are and see the ideas and beliefs for what they are, then you know that you don’t need anything really. Who You are has no need. Even if this body does not survive, who You are is anyway. Give up the need even for this body to survive, and you will see that Life takes care of it perfectly. It may surprise you, it may not be in the way that you think it should, it may not always feel comfortable, it may not fit into any socially acceptable way of living. But it is out of your control. Letting go of the control of money is about actually facing and feeling the fear of being destitute, and of death. Holding hands with the fear, and letting go of everything anyway. 

It is also about facing the fact that you are worthy enough to have an abundance of money and everything else. Often there is such a fear of losing money or not getting enough, that considering it as an abundance can seem ridiculously cheeky. If you are not afraid of losing money, are you afraid of getting it? It is not just about hoping to get more money one day, but knowing that you deserve all the money in the world right now, so its no surprise when it comes to you. Of course life should be easy. Why not? 

Without believing in the need for money, or living in fear of survival, money actually comes, and goes, quite easily. It is an energy that is fluid and not stagnant. If you give it away easily when you are moved to do so, it comes easily too, and then goes again. You can not control it out of fear. Let it go, and then be open to ask for it, or receive it when it does come. If you don’t have much, then that is the way it is for now. If you do have enough, that is the way it is for now. Everything changes, and if you don’t believe the story about what that change means to ‘me’, the energy of money can move fluidly and freely. 

It is about being moved by freedom and openness, rather than fear. Without buying into the imprisoning thoughts and beliefs, you are freed up to play the game of money, to work for it, to ask for it, to give it away, to wait for it and to spend it. See that everything comes and goes just when and how you need it, no matter what you do or don’t do. Live life without need, then you are always rich even when you have nothing. 

Unmani

January, 2012

www.die-to-love.com 

Check out: http://www.die-to-love.com/retreat-in-the-gold-coast-australia

Just to let you know about the Early Bird Discount for the Retreat in Holland in June. 

To me the word nonduality has always felt so very dry and masculine. As a woman, although I am often called a nondual teacher, I have shied away from using this term much myself. The word ‘nonduality’ seems to have attracted a lot of men interested in playing with words and concepts rather than diving into the depths of feeling and sensation. It has also encouraged women and men, to think that they should understand those concepts, and if they don’t, then they don’t ‘get it’. But in the last 8 years or so, of teaching, I have explored the feminine expression of nonduality. The feminine expression seems to touch a lot of people in a way that they don’t necessarily understand. They may come to a meeting expecting to get or to understand something, and instead walk away having been stripped of everything.

Both men and women have ideas about how the feminine expression should be or is. In my own journey, I have never known what it is to be a woman - and in that space of not knowing, the natural flow is continually expressed. You may assume that a feminine expression would be all ‘lovey dovey’ and about having nice relaxing experiences of love and sweetness. However, you may soon be surprised at the loving, but uncompromising sword that chops your head off.

I have explored pointing to the nonduality of Life itself in many different ways. There is never the perfect way of saying it. There are never the perfect words or concepts that can ever fit the way it is. In fact the nature of words and concepts is to take something which is so unbelievably abstract and turn it into something tangible, something specific. The nature of words and concepts is to create separation and to be dual. However, in my experience I have found that nonduality can be pointed to beyond all the words and concepts. It is much more risky and sometimes frightening because it is often the first time for many people, to look at what is beyond all the words. We are so used to trusting only the words and analyzing what they mean in a very logical and rational way. But the words only dance on the surface. What is under the words is not known or understood.

The feminine expression of nonduality is beyond the words. It is in the Silence that is despite the words. This is what the feminine expression is really. It sings from the Silence. It does not care what the words say - they are almost irrelevant. They are only the individual notes in the piece of music. It is a complete resting. Such a resting. Such an anchor that nothing can budge it. The Silence is truly deafening. And then there is the invitation into that Silence…

Although the feminine expression of nonduality is not all ‘lovey dovey’, it is about Love, but Love is not always the sweetness and light that you may normally imagine. Love is the radical compassion that will not stand for any nonsense. It calls a spade a spade. It undermines every belief. It spares no prisoners. It doesn’t dance on the surface, it dives to the root of it all. It is the Love that refuses to listen to the words and concepts, and doesn’t buy into any fear or emotion, but tirelessly points beyond them all. It is the Love that loves so much that it listens only to Love itself and meets everyone in that Love. Whether it’s in the words or in the Silence, this radical sword of Love works its magic of lifting veils and uncovering reality. You may not like what you hear. You may not want to hear it. It may trigger all kinds of reactions, emotions or fear, as each veil of belief or assumption is lifted. But it is all held in Love. It is always pointing back again and again to what you are.

There is the assumption that nonduality is a prescription, whereas it is actually a description. The feminine expression of nonduality is like singing a song. It is a creative expression of the Love and Gratitude that underpins all the words. It is the expression of that beautiful yearning that most people feel. But the yearning has found a resting place in the Silence. It no longer yearns for something more than what is, but instead it expresses the Silence. It is a passion that comes from Life as it expresses itself. In fact it is like listening to a piece of music that touches you and makes you feel alive. When you come to a meeting let the words touch you. Let the words crack you open. If you find that you are trying to understand them, stop and relax. Don’t understand them. Trying to understand them only uses the imagination to imagine that the words are prescribing things that you need to know or do. Let the words sing their song and crack you open.

Although it may seem like it, I am not denying the intellect here at all. In fact it is included in this Love. Often in meetings someone will come up to have a dialogue and will have lots of intellectual questions or objections. Each one is met with a song that turns the question around to look for the questioner. In seeing for yourself that there is no questioner, the whole question drops away. The intellect is seen for what it really is. It is not bad or wrong, but just limited to what it knows or can figure out. It can not know what nonduality is, as its very nature is to describe and understand duality. Therefore, in relation to the recognition of what you really are, it is seen to be moving away, imagining, dreaming up some other possibility of separation and duality. All there is here now, is nonduality. This is the Oneness and Wholeness that we so often long for. But unbelievably, it is already here right now.

In intimate dialogues we explore what is real right now. In meetings and retreats if you want to ask a question, you have to take the risk of exposing yourself by coming up to the front. There is often fear or embarrassment. But if you are not willing to risk exposing your vulnerability in front of other people, how will you be willing to risk losing everything you ever believed in? It is stepping into the fire willingly, knowing that it will burn up everything that you believe in. These meetings, and especially retreats, are not for the feint-hearted. If you want to wake up to the reality of the way it is beyond all the words and concepts, you will have to risk it all. The feminine expression of nonduality is not interested in playing around with the words and concepts of nonduality. It simply pulls the rug out from under your feet and leaves you with nothing but the freefall of Life as it is.

I embrace the word nonduality, as it is a word, a note in the song that sings beyond all the words. The feminine expression of nonduality rests in the Silence. It is this that melts the belief in separation, just as all the words try to do. This Silence is such a powerful force. It is the destroyer of illusion and anything that is not real and true. It is not soft and fluffy, and it is not dry and logical. It loves so much that it chops the heads off both.